"Lazzari's Sports Roundup" - - - - 9/29/12

*O.K., you asked for it (well, SOME people did)--some more of the "athletic matches" that have appeared in this column in 2012

Can you imagine if former UC-San Diego track and field star Erica Washington married ex-NBA guard Michael Adams, divorced, married current NBA player Richard Jefferson--divorced again--then walked down the aisle with former NFL cornerback Sam Madison? Fans of America's presidency (and, specifically, our country's first four leaders) would surely take notice of her full married name: Erica Washington Adams Jefferson Madison...........Scenario: University of New Haven AD Debbie Chin marries former tennis champion Michael Chang, divorces, then walks down the aisle with New England Patriots DB Patrick Chung. She then goes by the full married name of Debbie Chin Chang Chung (say THAT ten times fast!)..........Can you imagine if Italian tennis player Alberta Brianti ever tied the knot with former NFL running back Larry Canada? Sports fans in and around the Calgary area would surely delight in her married name of Alberta Canada..........Just imagine if former Mississippi high school basketball player Lee Ann Blue married current Arkansas St. guard Trey Finn, divorced, then married syndicated radio personality Charlie Tuna. Fish lovers everywhere would be delighted as she'd be known by the full married name of Lee Ann Blue Finn Tuna..........Compliments of my good friend--Dick Graham of West Haven (CT): If Canadian actress Carrie Moss ever married Mick Jagger, could it then be said that the Rolling Stone was gathering Moss? (sorry, folks)..........Can you imagine if former East Carolina swimmer Rachel Blue married ex-NBA player Walter Berry, divorced, then married Boston Red Sox pitcher Rich Hill? Fans of a classic Fats Domino tune would surely delight in her full married name of Rachel Blue Berry Hill.........Here goes--picture the scenario: Texas-based family/marriage counselor Linda Shake marries former MLB hitting coach Rick Down, divorces, then marries San Diego Padres closer Huston Street. Fans of the Grateful Dead would be smiling every time her full married name was pronounced: Linda Shake Down Street..........Can you imagine if famed LPGA golfer Sally Little married NBA guard Michael Redd, divorced, then married North Carolina-based attorney Ted Corvette? Fans of the artist currently known as Prince would surely enjoy her full married name of Sally Little Redd Corvette..........Scenario: Singer/songwriter Fiona Apple marries major league outfielder Coco Crisp. Fans of a decadent, fruity dessert would truly savor her full married name of Fiona Apple Crisp.......... Another scenario: Former tennis player Tracy Austin marries NBA player Kyrie Irving, divorces, marries New Zealand rapper David Dallas--divorces again--then ties the knot with ex-NBA-er Allan Houston. Fans of the Texas landscape would surely delight in her full married name of Tracy Austin Irving Dallas Houston..........Here goes: Tennis champion Venus Williams marries recently-turned-pro golfer Jonathan Fly--divorces--then marries former NBA forward John Q. Trapp. Yes, folks, her full married name would then be Venus Fly Trapp...........If actress/media personality Mary Kitchen married PGA golfer Stewart Cink, do you think she'd prefer to be known by her full married name of Mary Kitchen Cink?..........Just thinkin': If Oglethorpe University director of athletics Becky Hall walked down the aisle with PGA golfer Roland Thatcher, fans of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer would truly enjoy her new married name of Becky Thatcher..........Scenario: NY area realtor Cathy Greek marries PGA golfer Harris English, divorces, marries University of Texas pitcher Parker French--divorces again--then walks down the aisle with Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. She then possesses a name filled with nationalities: Cathy Greek English French Cuban...........O.K., one more--here goes: Let's pretend LPGA golfer Cindy LaCrosse develops a fondness for college instructors. She marries Edinboro University physics professor John Polo, divorces, marries Otterbein University art professor Jim Bowling--divorces again--then marries University of Washington Information School professor Joseph Tennis. She is then walking golf courses with the "sporty", full married name of Cindy LaCrosse Polo Bowling Tennis.
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